Turning Latina!

Cesar took me out today! We went to some mexican restraunt only known to mexicans... its like a rave... only known to ravers lol. Anyways back to the subject... he ordered us both tacos like we always order and I got the sauce I normally get plus I also got habanero sauce which is the spiciest sauce know to man. When I first had it which happened to be on our first date it made my mouth burn so badly that I had to drink tons of water afterwards, but now its like it dosen't bother me at all! I ate lots of it and it was nothing to it. Well after we ate and talked for a few hours he took me to see the movie that I have been wanting to see. He took me to see 'Cop Out'! It was the perfect movie for couples that have one american and one hispanic. Of course most of the movie is in english since this is the United States but there are alot of parts where there is spanish since the movie is based upon the capture of a mexican drug bust. Also he loves action movies and I prefer comedies and it has an equal amount of both so it was totally perfect and we both enjoyed it. I haven't been this happy in awhile and I'm glad that I'm with him. He is my perfection.

Guilty Without Charged

No, I'm not talking about doing anything illegal (well it should be). I cheated on my fiance! I feel soooooo horrible! I think I should get like the death penalty or something. I just hate the way he treats me sometimes and Steven is just so sweet and he makes me feel special. When I say cheated I mean I only kissed him but I've done other stuff in the past when I thought Cesar cheated on me. I do realise that two wrongs do not make a right. It actually makes everything worse. I don't want to tell Cesar because I know that it will be over if I ever did tell him but keeping something this huge from him could have its downs aswell. I will never do it again and I know that I wont. I just want everything to be like when we first started dating without the him still seeing his ex long distance girlfriend. I guess I just have all this built up aggression against him since I always think hes going to cheat on me since he has done it before. Most girls would dump a guy when they first cheat but I guess I'm stupid or something. I love him to death and yes I know most of you are like "If you love someone you wouldn't cheat on them" but you have no idea what its like until your in the situation. I just don't know what to do for now. Maybe we are even now? Also I know that he did cheat on me while he was in Birmingham and I'm talking fucking around not just kissing.

Updating My Life

So I've been dating this guy named Cesar since July 10th, 2009. We have gotten along so far, but of course like any couple we have our ups and downs. Back in November he was evicted from his apartment and I thought of the great idea of him moving in with me and my parents which turned out to be hell. My parents loved him when he first moved in now they just think of him as a leech. I love him more than ever even though we fight more than ever. He is currently working in Birmingham since hes an illegal mexican and his jobs are limited. He is a professional roofer and is always looking for a new job. I on the other hand am unemployed which drives my parents crazy. I am actively looking for a job but in the economy today it is hell looking for a job. I know everyone blames the economy for everything but it seems true. I am going to try hard to update this blog as much as possible. I have had tons of blogs in the past that I just totally forgot about. Anyways I guess just wait til my next post.