I'm So Stupid!

I actually thought about leaving Cesar after seeing the hickie for some guy that I barely know. Well I've known him long enough to make out with him while Cesar was out of town since I knew Cesar was going to cheat. Anyways, I texted him last night telling him how I thought I felt about him saying they I was falling in love with him which I knew I wasn't I just told him that to see what he would say. To my suprise I would have never guessed what came next. He texted me back telling me that he would never date me that he just wanted blow jobs and sex and thats totally not cool! It makes me mad that he tried to use me. He actually wanted me to help him get a job through my parents which is asking alot since they have the hook ups that he so desired. I just need to stick with Cesar and stop fucking around literally. I hate that I did that to him and I wish I never made that mistake because it was so stupid! I always do something to mess up my relationships and I don't want to ever do it again. I would hope that he wouldn't hurt me ever again either.